Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Tuesday Prayer

(as the eating season begins...)

O taste and see that God is good. Psalm 34:8
The taste of chocolate is rich,
and bread, crusted,
kitchen-scented and
warm, is broken.
White onions are cut and fried
with garlic and tomato,
laid in corn meal or stirred
in rice and beans.
Lime smells of porch-sitting
all summer evening long
and sweat on my lips
and sand and ocean.
Cheerios roll between my fingers -
a memory of childhood-
and then they crumble.
Pomegranate is sweet
and pink and as strange
as a Song of Songs, and
raspberries in my mouth
burst fire and little stones.
Apple is harvest-red
and not forbidden
while honey is slow
and golden joy.
Coffee brews strong
in my nose and mouth
and reminds me
of cold mornings
and long conversations
with those I love.
Yes, every meal is a feast,
even when onions
and people I trust
make me weep
even when bread,
like body,
is broken...

I remember the tastes of God
which are good and many.
You are none and all of these.
I open my lips and taste you -
a prayer.

Maren Tirabassi - An Improbable Gift of Blessing


Sophia said...

Prayers for those who have asked recently.

I have been feeling drawn recently to explore the possibility of ministry within the Episcopal Church, where I and we have experienced so much life-giving worship, love and support--and which wouldn't require a long move as the possible teaching positions would. I am a bit excited, very nervous, and praying for discernment--esp. about how and when to speak to the rector. Would very much appreciate your prayerful support in this.

Juniper said...

prayers for discernment coming your way, S.

leah sophia said...

Wow, Sophia--prayers arising for what just may prove to be Spirit's call to you!

And I'm back again with more of my own notes, not knowing how much longer I can hang on...like many people, for most of my life I've lived with a sometimes seriously debilitating compulsive disorder and this illness has made me into something I never was, yet somehow I need to find a way to move on from here. I need to find a community willing to learn my name and to trust me with theirs; I need to discover opportunities to contribute in ways related to my gifts, education, experience and sense of call that just won't quit.

Someone pointed out about Kay Redfield Jamison (author of a couple of popular books on bipolar disorder as well as a huge professional tome), "she can talk--she's a rock-star researcher, but for most of us, a single extended mood episode will cost us our friends, our family, our career and our reputation: everything we value." But it could not happen to me, because it all was a huge mistake. It's now 16 years later and I've become paralyzed with grief in the wake of staggering loss, which most people hear as a series of firings, as "just jobs" and they also invariably think I'm talking about an episode of depression or related and often inform me they've been depressed, taken meds or maybe currently are on meds. People will say things like, "at this age and stage we typically only hear from friends once or twice a year" or "everyone loses track of a few friends in this mobile society."

For the most part, if someone loses a spouse, parent, sibling, child or friend, the church and other friends are there for them. But when one literally loses their own life? Thanks for listening (and praying).

Sophia said...

Thanks, Juniper and Leah, for the prayers and support.

Leah, we are here for you and care for you....Your gifts are so many and the right community would be equally blessed to have you.

I am praying for you and also concerned when you say you're not sure if you can go on. Does that mean you might harm yourself? If so, please reach out for some more specific and professional help. I am here too, think you still have my number, and would love to get your call....Sorry if I am overreacting but a short term spiritual directee (grad student in Toronto) later committed suicide and it increased my diligence to err on the side of safety. (((Leah Sophia)))

Mary Beth said...

Praying for you both.