Monday, September 10, 2007

We dream, hope, and live with, by, and through the heart....Jesus also responded to the prophetic call because his heart was moved. He ministered with heart and even ends up de facto on the cross because of his living out the fullness of his heart. When we live with heart, we cannot remain immune to the other. The other's suffering becomes my suffering, his/her joy my joy in a relationship that is often but not necessarily that of reciprocity. If we do not have heart, we do not have life.

Wohnee Anne Joh, Heart of the Cross: A Postcolonial Christology
(Westminster John Knox, 2006), pp. 117-118.

3 comments:

Deb said...

Please pray for me. I can not post this openly on my blog...

I am in the third week of my internship. The church where I am interning is supposedly affirming of women in ministry. I say supposedly because I am finding out there is prejudice and all kinds of pushback towards me as a pastoral intern. I have not even been introduced as an intern, so people wonder why I am doing things that "church staff" do.

The problem is that part of my internship agreement included preaching twice at Sunday services this semester. The "preaching team" met last week and not only did they not invite me to watch and learn, but did not schedule me for ANY Sunday between now and the end of December (when the semester is over.)

I have written a polite email requesting clarification from my supervisor, who happens to also be the lead pastor. Please pray for me that I will listen and hear the Lord clearly in all of this. And pray for a clear response. Also, pray for my emotional state. I am close to the edge of tears.

I believe I am called to be a PASTOR and Preacher of the Word. I am a student. I admit I am not "ready" to take my own church. Pray for openness to hear and do what is ahead of me.

My husband says that he would like to kick the anatomy of a couple of the "pigs". He's so sweet. :)

d

Songbird said...

I'm with your husband!
In Field Ed, I worked with an off-site supervisor who had the same supposed openness to women in ministry, but turned out to be faking it to please the school (working on his D.Min.). The school stood up for me. I hope you will check with your Field Ed (or equivalent) department, Deb, and get some support there, too. You don't have to deal with the supervising pastor alone if there is a school in the relationship.
I will pray for you!

Deb said...

Well.

Here's the bald-faced truth. I listened to someone who has an agenda against the Lead Pastor. This person was bluntly and deliberately biased in comments about him. I came home and stewed on it. I didn't think it through. I didn't ask questions or pursue ANY kind of confrontation or clarification. I just believed it.

And... here's another piece of the puzzle. In this event, it fed nicely into MY insecurities, MY constant battle to "prove" my Call. It also was fed by the MCPs I deal with on a regular basis at seminary. AND... gee whiz... it also fed my insecurities about my looks, my weight, my outspokenness... blah blah blah. In addition, it was a difficult issue for the church to handle BECAUSE I am doing things that no female intern has done. THey were not against my doing it. THey just communicated and talked about it the way that they always did. Like men. IN the clubhouse. And I am not in the locker room. HELLO? Good grief!!!

Yes. I was under spiritual attack. Yes. I am pushing an envelope as an intern (but they DO want me to preach... AND have have dates confirmed.) Yes. There are imperfect people involved. And Yes. There were some errors in supervision. And in personalities.

We are working through them. We have listened to each other and given and accepted forgiveness. Many MANY tears spilled.

And my husband will still lay out anyone who messes with my Call. Hehe. Gotta love him. :)

I feel a little like Miss Congeniality. Still got my gun strapped to my thigh as I strut my stuff in my evening gown. (UM. ALL metaphorically!!!)

Your prayers and encouragement -- can't go down this without them.

Ever blathering (sorry for the length)

d