A Prayer of Not Knowing

O God, I do not know how to pray. Because I do not know what it means to pray properly, to pray in such a way as to serve or worship, I must offer what I have and can do as my prayer. And here it is.

Let this posture be the prayer

Let this intention be the prayer

Let this very not-knowing be the prayer

Let this breath be the prayer

Let this resistance and discomfort be the prayer

Let this distraction be the prayer

Let this drinking of tea be the prayer

Let this eating of breakfast be the prayer

Let this hectic schedule be the prayer

Let this attempt at Remembrance be the prayer

Let the steps walked in silence across the parking lot be the prayer

Let the birdsong noted be the prayer

Let this poor journal-writing be the prayer

Let the vastness of the night sky be the prayer

Let worrying, and then dropping the worry be the prayer

Let chanting and dancing and reading be the prayer

Let dressing and undressing be the prayer

Let sleeping and rising and sleeping and rising be the prayer

Let missing someone be the prayer

Let memories and whispered calls for help for others be the prayer

Let opening the door and putting on and taking off shoes be the prayer

Let the keeping simple order be the prayer

Let the celebration of light and darkness be the prayer

Let warmth and cold be the prayer
All of it, not bad, not good, just as it is and wondrous all of it. . . .

be the prayer

O God, in my helplessness, from nowhere, with nothing, let these poor prayers, as flowers, draw You to the garden from which their fragrance arises.

Amen.

~Regina Sara Ryan

Ryan, Regina Sara. Praying Dangerously: Radical Reliance on God. Prescott, Arizona: Hohm Press, 2011. 19-20.